This is my first step, a baby step, hopefully it will lead me somewhere. But where to and how do I get there? So many roads to take, so many uncertainties.
I was laid off on December 3rd. I had worked there almost nine years and have survived many rounds of lay-offs before, but never thought it would come down to me. I was blindsided. I had been miserable for years and dreamed of quitting but wasn't ready yet. I wasn't prepared. WHAM! BAM! Here I am! Welcome to the club I guess. I know there are a lot of us out there in the same boat. What do I do now? How is this going to effect our life as we know it? How do I fill up the big hole in our finances left by the loss of my salary? The weekly UI checks help a little, but how long can I receive unemployment? I've heard that 6 months is the cut off. I think I've used up about 5 weeks worth already and the clock is ticking!
I've spent the last 6 years complaining that I didn't have enough time or energy left over to create any art. Even just working 25-30 hrs a week, I couldn't keep up with my 6 year old, manage the household, maintain the garden. . .AND be an artist! Well now, I am unemployed, Nate is in Kindergarten 6 hrs a day. . . and I HAVE the time!
I am fortunate to have an incredible network of friends and family who have all been very supportive. They tell me this is a blessing in disguise, an opportunity, a gift, my Do Over. What will I do with it? Can I live up to my hopes and dreams? I intend this blog to document my process, it's my first step.
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned , so as to have the life that is waiting for us."-E.M. Forster
Wow, this is great. Did you ever do the Artist's Way? You made me think of it when you talked about baby steps. Thanks for including me on your carefully selected list! And that is a great picture of you. :)
ReplyDeleteJustine
Your writing is lovely. Congratulations on the blog. I will be checking it!
ReplyDeleteThis blog is a great first step in identifying and actually taking the risk of expressing your intentions and fears. You nailed it with the Forester quote. Be gentle with yourself and try to remember that this process took many years to get to the present step. You only need to focus on the next step and stay open to allowing the process to flow.....into what is already being made manifest by the grace and beauty that is YOU!
ReplyDeleteGreat blpg - I am really happy that you have this opportunity and that you are going to seize it.
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