BoneWerx

Enter The Dragon Lady

2012-01-29T12:17:00.000-08:00

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

The New Year started off with a mighty roar as my hair caught on fire only moments after midnight! We were posing for a group photo and I backed up too close to the candles on the mantel and within seconds flames were shooting up the back of my head! "You're on FIRE!" my husband shouted as he tried to pat me out. Very little damage was done with the exception a few crunchy, singed off patches in my do and the wretched reak of burning hair permeating my unfortunate friend's home :-(

Always searching for the meaning in everything, when I discovered that 2012 is the year of The Dragon, it became clear to me that it was a dragon that breathed its fire on me on NYE. I have been under its spell ever since!
It is said that: The Year of the Dragon has the potential to breathe life-shaping fire! The dragon is a symbol of power, strength, good luck, innovation and passion. This will be a Red Hot year of Change and Transformation. . . I'm ready. I'm tired of waiting to be discovered, it's time to discover myself.

I know what I want to do, I know what I want to be and this year I will stay true to the path that leads me in that direction. I recently set a goal to enter a National Exhibition and was elated to be accepted to show at the Baton Rouge Museum for Contemporary Art! The show comes down this week, but you can view the catalog HERE (I'm on pg 15). The experience proved to me how important it is to set goals and shoot for them! Next on my list is to show in Los Angeles! I'm zeroing in on The La Luz de Jesus Gallery which has a juried show every March called 'LALUZAPALOOZA'. . .

"The annual Kitschen Sync show is a gigantic, no-theme exhibition that consistently features work from the freshest and most relevant artists working today. We invite commercial illustrators, graphic designers, tattooists, scenic painters, students, and animators to submit, and sorted through tens of thousands of submissions before finalizing the contributor list. The show is open to all artists we have previously exhibited, as well as to brand-new, undiscovered, and underground talent. Since opening our doors in 1986, the focus has always been to grant exposure to emerging talent while continuing to showcase our established stars. This important annual exhibition is a wonderful forum for reaching our extensive list of collectors and patrons, and establishing a fan base beyond your circle of regular buyers. Previous shows have featured the biggest names in post-pop contemporary art. This show launches careers, solidifies reputations and has previewed work by artists showcased in the Whitney Biennial. We look forward to your submissions, and wish you all the best of luck."

I threw down the gauntlet to my buddy Aaron in a friendly challenge to motivate and inspire one another to aim for La Luz. Here is his Righteous submission:

If one of us gets in it will be a win for both.

on the subject of team-work, check out our art showing at
The Space Monkey
in February, Opening this Friday 2/3 starting at 6pm
5511 SE 72nd Avenue, PDX
There will be Live Music by Brave Julius, Luke Redfield, and David Gillette

Espresso bar and snacks
Free beer
Kid friendly

See you there!

Muchas Gracias

2012-01-26T22:51:00.000-08:00

It feels pretty good to Like what I'm doing, but it feels Extra Awesome when other people like it too. I know that some people in particular don't even like what I make, but they like that I'm making it and it's that kind of support that keeps me going! Thank you for being a part my journey.

Feliz Navidad!

2011-12-22T02:00:00.000-08:00

Surreal Salon

2011-12-06T10:28:00.001-08:00

'Mer-Pop'

Things are not always what they seem. . .
this sexy sailor hides a secret beneath the deep.

I've had this twisted image in my head for over a year now, I'm relieved to finally get it out! I first came up with this idea in response to a show about gender, which I failed to enter at the time. Then when I saw the ad for the Surreal Salon in Juxtapoz, I figured this might qualify as "Low-Brow Pop-Surrealism". It's been a big goal of mine to enter a National Exhibition, so I went for it! It felt like an accomplishment just to finish the painting and submit my entry -whether I was selected or not, at least I did it. Then I received notification that I actually made it into the show! Hot Damn!! They said they got over 300 submissions, so I'm feeling pretty good about making the cut. Best in Show will be published in Juxtapoz and Hi-Fructose magazines! -Hopefully with a link to the rest of the show, which could result in some excellent exposure. . . Toot toot!

The Show will run through January in Baton Rouge

Surreal Salon IV

Did you know that Popeye was an animal rights activist?!

"I got a lotta muscle and I only gots one eye / And I'll never hurt nobodys and I'll never tell a lie / Top to me bottom and me bottom to me top / That's the way it is 'til the day that I drop, what am I?

I yam what I yam."
-Popeye

The Wild One

2011-12-06T09:32:00.001-08:00

Marlon Brando from the 1953 Outlaw Biker Film 'The Wild One'

Blackburnian Warbler

Johnny

Where's Warbler?

Every year the Portland Audubon Society holds their Wild Arts Festival in November to fundraise for our feathered friends. Every year I aim to contribute to their big 6x6 Project, and this year I finally did it! I still had my free blank canvas from last year, so I was already ahead of the game. I had fun with this little painting -even though I don't usually paint on canvas. It was a good exercise for me and I'm happy to have pulled it off and even happier that it SOLD within the first hour (out of over 150 paintings!).

Woo-Hoo!!

See the trailer HERE

Puttin' it out there.

2011-11-03T23:45:00.000-07:00

If you haven't been to Screaming Sky yet, or just need another excuse to get over there, these 2 Luchadores are hanging in their Sugar and Spice show through November 20th. Some Photos from opening night can be seen: HERE

This eve of November's First Friday, seems like a good time for an update of what I have going on around town. I'm happy to report that it's been a busy couple of months here in the BoneHaus! This Friday night is shaping up to be an exciting evening, with TWO openings to attend! If you are thinking about getting out and about, and the idea of kicking off your weekend with art and free wine sounds good to you -I hope to run into you!

I plan to be at 100th Monkey studio between 6ish -7ish
for The Square Affair, presenting my plastic punk princess 'Poly Styrene'
for Create Plenty's Plastic awareness campaign: The Int'l Plastic Quilt project

Then heading over to Splendorporium's Tarot Show between 7:30 - 8:30ish to show off 'Hoochie Koo' -which has been renamed with a Tarot twist to 'The Transformer' -representing the Death card and all that is discarded gaining new life upon reinvention (recycling!).

If you missed Nirvana's First group show, the bad news is that it has just come down, but the GOOD news is that I sold the piece I had hanging in it! Yay!

If you're a Dia de los Muertos fan, there's still one more week to catch the show at Lunar Boy out in Astoria, where I have 3 Calaveras cavorting with an assortment of other artful skellies.

If you don't have a Calavera for your wall yet, check out the ones I have for sale at Mag-Big on Hawthorne and Aster and Bee on Division -where I also have a selection of sacred hearts available.
I have also recently updated my Etsy site with fresh new sparkly skulls!
Check 'em out!

Art is in the air. . . take a whiff!

;-)

Poly Styrene

2011-10-17T00:06:00.000-07:00

Quilt square for the International Plastic Quilt Project

Titled 'Poly Styrene' of X-Ray Spex

Inspired by the song: Plastic Bag

Please read more about Poly HERE

I used to collect books about quilt making, wreath making, canning and Amish crafts. I used to have a subscription to Martha Stewart's 'Living'. There was a time when I wanted to be normal. I craved to be crafty in an acceptable way. After the fallout from being a promiscuous anarchist in high school, I chose the path of redemption by marrying a conservative 'Golden Boy' and succumbing to respectable stability. I did cross-stitch and drank Coors! But not for long! Before I knew it, I was shaking things up again, making life difficult, veering down the path of passionate, gut-wrenching dream-following. . .which hasn't turned out so bad. . . I married the 'Bad Boy' who turned out to be a good boy (and a great dad) and we drink lots of great beer together! But things haven't settled down. It seems that the older we get, the more we are still figuring things out, especially now that we are in full-blown, mid-life crisis mode! One of the biggest challenges I seem to face is striving to be true to myself, in spite of how it fits in. It's too easy to get caught up in the image of what I think I'm supposed to be, or what I suspect others want me to be, but the old-fashioned rebel in me wants to go back to what I know best, the parts of me that will never change (or grow up).

I recently met Anna Magruder, an amazing painter I really admire. We got to talking about subject matter and what inspires us. She told me how fascinated she is with the complicated beauty of women's faces and the stories they tell. I told her how I seem to be struggling with WHAT to paint and that I hadn't had a 'muse' since the Mohawk guy I used to draw in high school. It sounded silly, I know, but she told me to go back to it and start there.

Funny how long it takes us to get back to where we started!

Hoochie Koo!

2011-09-28T00:06:00.000-07:00

Hoochie Koo!

Muertos Season is upon us!

Though it is time to welcome back and celebrate the lives of the dead, it feels too soon for me to celebrate my brother in this way. . . since we are still in the process of letting him go.

My own personal take on Dia de los Muertos is that it is less about grieving and more about facing our fears about death and showing off our acceptance of it: celebrating the cycle. When death tragically comes too soon, it is harder to reconcile.

I embrace the inevitability of my own eventual, unavoidable death by mocking its power over me. I like to make weird, wild and whacky Calaveras to show that skulls don't have to be morbid and ghoulish and fearful, they can be opulent, colorful and kooky! -Take that Death!

If you're headed to Last Thursday on Alberta, I hope you will visit Screaming Sky Gallery (Alberta & 14th) for the Opening of their Dia de los Muertos Group Show (I'm in it!).

Exploiting the Mystique of Accident

2011-09-05T01:34:00.000-07:00

'Kick out the Jams Motherfucker'

a Mixed-Media Collaboration between Aaron Goodrich and Alea Bone

After years of frustration over my lack of direction in art, this summer seemed like a good break to take a less serious approach and let go of all my stifling expectations and experiment a bit. Since I haven't yet developed anything that even remotely resembles a signature 'style', I let go of all intentions to try to live up to what I see in my mind's eye and embarked on my first collaborative project into the mystery of the unplanned. I have always been very product oriented, but this time it was about the process. . . the process of letting go. Letting go of what kind of art I want to make, or how I'm going to make it. . . and just play with paper and paint (regardless of the outcome).

But I can't seem to let go completely, even in the end I am still searching to critique the project; define what it meant to me and what I learned from it, when the whole point was to allow myself not to make sense and grant myself the freedom to just play for no other reason. I don't know WHY it is so hard for me to just lighten up and be playful! Those who know me know that I don't laugh as much as I should and I take life way too seriously. A penchant for angst I guess. -I'm working on that! I over think everything and nothing seems to flow naturally. It's a constant struggle to find my groove. I feel like a musician bursting with songs to play -but still searching for the right instrument (master of none). Being blocked sucks! Both as an artist and as a person. If only I could just scream "Fuck it!" and kazoo my brains out! Or PAINT my guts out!! Or just create something glorious.

But getting back to the point, Aaron was generous enough to venture into this game with me, and though our circumstances were not ideal (are they EVER?!) we made some art together. There is no theme. There were no rules. It was merely an exchange between 2 different hands picking up where the other left off. We had a few challenges with medium, but mostly it was a fun little exercise in unpredictability! We both wish we could have taken the project further, exchanging the boards a few more times. . .perhaps another 'Dbl A' collab?

We'll keep you posted.

Meantime, please check out our 'Combined Werx' at First Cup on SE 41st and Woodstock thru September.

Sebastian

2011-08-11T00:06:00.000-07:00

Milagro for Sebastian

How do you wrap your head around that which makes no sense? The brain spins, numb. The heart aches with burning sorrow. Everything slows down to a surreal timelessness, hovering between memories and eternity, to a place that defies description or logic. A place that has no name. There are no words to define this place or the experience of being in it . . . there is only Love.

I could try to explain how I feel or what I have been through this past week, but it is not about me or my staggering grief. There is something much more powerful than my own experience, it is that which is greater than all of us, the thread that connects us all. It is the love of a Mother and Father's Son, a Sister's Brother, 2 Children's Father and countless others who looked up to him. It is about Sebastian and the energy of a life that has now been released.

A time like this calls for Love and Love only. It is all that I have to work with and all that I have to give. In person or from a distance, my Love is the same. If I focus my heart on the light of Sebastian, I know that I have not lost him and never will, as long as my heart still beats.

As I sit here now attempting to process my thoughts and emotions, I have to share the story of yesterday . . .

I had to make a trip out to Astoria on the NW tip of OR, a 2+ hour drive from Portland. N8 and I desperately needed a change of scenery, hoping to escape the confines of our grief. As I reached for a handful of CDs for the road, I pulled out Joshua Tree, longing for the comfort of the nostalgia it evokes of my first intensely impressionable Summer in Yosemite. I have recently been reliving those days through a 'Reunion-type' page created on Facebook and have been flooded with the sweet pangs of my past life (and loves). I hate to admit it but, I have sought refuge in reliving the past on Facebook as a way to deny the pain of the present.

So, N8 and I headed out of town on the Hwy that hugs the Columbia on its journey to the Pacific. It was a beautiful day, with perfectly blue skies and shimmering golden sunlight dancing through the trees. It felt good to get out of the city, off the computer and away from the phone. U2 setting the tone as the soundtrack to our own journey . . . and then the lyrics spoke to me, pulling my heart towards the realization that we were following Sebastian's spirit:

We turn away to face the cold enduring chill
As the day begs the night for mercy, love
The sun so bright it leaves no shadows, only scars
Carved into stone on the face of earth
The moon is up and over One Tree Hill
We see the sun go down in your eyes
You run like a river to the sea
You run like a river runs to the sea

I'll see you again when the stars fall from the sky

We run like a river runs to the sea
We run like a river to the Sea!

I had not planned to go to Astoria, in fact, I was trying to avoid the long drive. But now it hit home and I knew I was doing the right thing, exactly where I needed to be.

Oh, great ocean - oh, great sea

Run to the ocean - run to the Sea!

When we got to town, we drove all the way up to the highest point, to climb the column. Just as we reached the parking lot, a car backed out of the very first parking space just in front of us -with New Mexico plates. Seeing the sun symbol of the Zia surely meant something! N8 and I absorbed the breathtaking beauty of the incredible view and held each other as we had a moment of silence for Sebastian. I stood behind my son with my hands wrapped around his chest and felt his heart beating in my hand. I meditated on the confluence of where the Columbia meets the sea, where one life flows into the massive expanse of the 'Mother', and imagined Sebastian's spirit merging with the Universe.

By the time we got home yesterday evening, we learned that Sebastian had passed away. We also learned that a good friend gave birth to a new baby girl! So a day that had begun without any order of sense, ended with peace, harmony and balance.

Escape to Cloud Mountain

2011-07-26T20:41:00.000-07:00

Whether you are an unassuming horny toad scampering across the parched Arizona heat-scape, or fun loving bathers on holiday at the community pool, we are ALL potential prey for the green-eyed feline phantom who sniffs out our weakness for blind bliss and answers only to the call of the wild. Do not become unhinged in that world between fear and false security. . . ESCAPE to Cloud Mountain, where the mystical vapors will fog your mind with visions of tangerine dahlias softly spinning through the air.

(Inspired by recent world events)

Love it? Or Hate it?

I'm not sure how this happened. . . but it did.

I thought this one might be done, until I saw THIS!

How do I know when to stop?

Dbl A - Phase 1 Aaron's Boards

2011-07-17T12:37:00.000-07:00

Looking for a way in to these. . .

Aaron told me this last board felt done to him and it looks done to me too! Not sure what I can or should add to it.

Feeling cautious. . .

Dbl A - Phase 1

2011-07-12T23:07:00.000-07:00

Aaron and I made our first swap. He gave me his 5 boards, I gave him these 4.

Here is an overview of what was going through my head as I made these. . .

How do I make art for/with someone else?

Will our styles jive?

Do I have a style?

Do I keep my part small to make room for him?

Where do I put 'my part'?

Would it be too bossy of me to hog the center?

Can polite art be good art?

How much do I do?

Did I do too much?

Am I just setting the stage/creating a 'background'?

Will my collage images lead him? -Is that good or bad?

Wish I wasn't so afraid to DRAW!

Illustration board doesn't take paint like wood does!

Is there a theme emerging?

Does it matter if it doesn't make sense?

When does an experiment become the Real thing?

What will he think?

What will he DO?

Control Freak-out

2011-07-05T00:31:00.000-07:00

(I did not make this)
http://www.corpse.org/index.php?option=com_zoom&Itemid=99999999&page=view&catid=14&PageNo=1&key=2&hit=1

Collaboration is working together to achieve a goal. It is the process of two or more people working together to realize shared goals, (this is more than the intersection of common goals seen in co-operative ventures, but a deep, collective, determination to reach an identical objective) — for example, an intriguing endeavor that is creative in nature—by sharing knowledge, learning and building consensus.

( I really LOVE the concept of deep, collective, determination!).

About a year ago I put it on my wish list to someday do some collaborative art. I was inspired by some of the projects I had seen Jennifer Mercede and Chris Haberman do -like in this video where they create a mural in 1 day together! It just looks so rewarding, growth inducing and fun. The first person who came to my mind was Rad Dad: Aaron Goodrich -artist and fellow active parent volunteer at our kid's school. I really like his style (I'm secretly hoping some of his awesomeness will rub off on me). One of the things I admire about Aaron is that he makes a lot of art! Whether it's tattoo flash, motorcycle tanks or skateboard decks, he's gettin' it done and putting it out there. He even created the best selling T-shirt design in Lewis Elementary's history! Anyway, he's got it goin' on and I really respect him, so I'm thrilled that he accepted my offer to create some artwork together for an upcoming show at our ever-popular-neighborhood coffee shop. Our deal is this: 5 15 x 20 boards each, lay something down then swap. Expand, transform, revise then swap again. We intend to trade boards at least 3 times, without any rules, or boundaries, or expectations. We really don't know what we're doing, but we're both game and eager to make some ART! It should be interesting (fun to say the least) to see how it turns out.

I have NEVER done anything like this before and am in completely in unknown territory. Obviously, I don't know what I'm doing or if I'm even doing it 'right'. The hardest part for me is letting go of the plan. I like to work with a road map where I have an inkling of where I'm going and what I'm doing. Any idea I attempt to cling to runs the risk of complete transformation by Aaron -which could be a wild and wonderful thing if I can remain open to it. I hope he can play off what I provide for him and vice versa. I must let go of of any preconceived notions and simply . . . dive in.

"The Exquisite Corpse Adventure is like playing a game of hot potato, tossing the spud from person to person. Sure, everyone wants the potato to stay in the air. But it's also really fun if you can put some spin on it when you throw it so the next person has to really reach to grab it. The fumble and save is part of the thrill of the game."
– paraphrased from M.T. Anderson

Lollipop Circus

2011-05-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

The work of Alexander Calder

Well, I finally found my way into a show Downtown. I don't know why it feels like such a BIG DEAL to me, but I'm excited! This is a group exhibition of work inspired by the Mid Century Master Alexander Calder. I enjoyed studying his art and eagerly took on the challenge of creating my own homage to him. I referred to the above images as a jumping off point and tried to come up with something that borrowed a few of his design elements while still trying to allow my own 'Style' to show through. Although I don't feel like I have found my artistic voice yet, I do know that I like the look and feel of painting on wood and I'm hell-bent on incorporating found objects. I'm still on this music kick as you can see by the guitar picks and tuning key and for this one, I even cut up a record . . . that was fun!

I've named this clown 'Xeno' from the Greek Xenos meaning Stranger.

You can check him out at the opening on 6/2 -my First 'First Thursday'!

The show will be up all month at The Original Dinerant

Hope to see you there!

For more details on the show, go to: www.elroyartspace.com

Still a Flower Child

2011-05-01T21:22:00.000-07:00

BoneWerx takes many forms.

In case you're wondering where I've been, I've spent the last few months organizing a Plant Sale at my son's Elementary School. For a peek at the 2nd Annual Lewis Garden Fair, check out these pics on Flickr

"My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece." - Claude Monet

Duty Now for the Future!

2011-03-17T02:46:00.000-07:00

New Traditionalist?

I think it was 1981, I was 15. I was just venturing out into the world of individualism, tentatively taking the bus out to Telegraph to stroll the streets, hang out and take in the scene. I remember one time wandering the campus of UC Berkeley and being struck by some guys shouting out a window. I didn't get what they were saying, but they were hanging a crudely crafted banner outside their 3rd floor window which read DEVO! It was spray painted on a sheet and they were really excited about it and I got excited too even though all I knew about DEVO at the time I had learned from MTV and that was to "Whip it. . . Whip it Good!"

That song was catchy and the video was pretty slick, but beneath the commercial facade, I felt a kinship to a cult that was brewing: a cult of fed-up, misfit, pissed off, anarchist arty rebels who wanted to save the world, who saw things were going to shit and wanted to speak up about it. That impression, that moment, that day, stuck with me. It was my first exposure to how a band could become a movement, how the power of art (music) can make a scene and hopefully make a difference. I was at that impressionable age when the music rang loud and true to my ears, made my head spin and burned a hole in my heart. It hit me where it hurts and defined who I am today. Deep down, I'll always identify with that misfit rebel who wants to save the world, but meanwhile I'll have to bite the bullet to (hopefully) make a buck.

I never got to see DEVO back in the day, though their music remained an underlying current to my adolescence. After growing up and growing away from the in-your-face-fervor of the punkadelic wave, I finally got the opportunity tonight to ride that wave again. I admit I was afraid of what a difference 30 years would make and that they might be a woeful sham of what they once were. . . but DEVO delivered! They were not nearly as old and fat as I feared they would be, or as I felt I was, or as the audience clearly seemed to be!

Something came over me sometime around when they played 'Going Under' and I was 15 again, full of Passion and Rage! The lyrics came back to me as a mantra from my youth:

THINK YOU HEARD THIS ALL BEFORE

NOW YOU'RE GONNA HEAR SOME MORE
I KNOW A PLACE WHERE DREAMS GET CRUSHED
HOPES ARE SMASHED BUT THAT AIN'T MUCH
VOLUNTARY EXPERIMENTATION
GOING THROUGH SOFT CORE MUTATION
I'M GOING UNDER
DOWN UNDER WHERE THE LIGHTS ARE LOW
TO A PLACE WHERE ALL THE MUTANTS GO
DOING THINGS I NEVER DID BEFORE
INSIDE OUT AND COMING BACK FOR MORE
LITTLE GIRLS WITH THE FOUR RED LIPS
NEVER KNEW IT COULD BE LIKE THIS
YOU PUT ME IN A SITUATION
GOIN' THROUGH SOFT CORE MUTATION

The scars of Experimentation suddenly stung with a fresh vengeance and transformed me into a 44 year old gyrating-slam-dancing teenager jerking back and forth! Needless to say, the person I was with was not enthused by my antics and apparently the surrounding fogies didn't appreciate my display either! Who the Hell were all those people anyway?! I don't remember them being around back when I was out-casted for being a New Wave Freak! If they were freaks also, then WHY weren't they dancing with me tonight? How can you listen to DEVO and stand still? Who the Hell do they think they are? Standing Still is Living Still. If that's who they are, then that's what's wrong with the world. The message is still the same (30 years later) Thing's are fucked so Act out, Freak out, get pissed! And don't be afraid to piss other people off . . . at least I lived a little tonight! I never cared before what people thought, so why should I now? All that really matters is how you feel and what you do about it.

"a victim of collision on the open sea

nobody ever said that life was free

sank, swam, go down with the ship

but use your freedom of choice

I'll say it again in the land of the free

use your freedom of choice

YOUR FREEDOM OF CHOICE!"

The Groove

2011-02-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

'The Groove'

For those that didn't make it to the Opening of the Love Show last night,

THIS is what I made for it.

Seeking to resist the stereotypical notions of love between two people, I thought it would be fun to depict another passion of mine: Music! I can't paint without it. I must have it when I work out, drive, cook, clean and eat. There is ALWAYS music playing at the BoneHaus, both inside and out. It's how we live. Dave Brubeck dinners, Muddy Waters camp fires, Bluegrass breakfasts and White Stripe road trips. There is an ever-changing soundtrack that is as much a part of our family as another breathing, beating heart. It sets the tone for our life; to motivate, inspire, arouse, soothe and fulfill our inner yearnings. It's what gets me up and keeps me going. Nietzsche said, "Without music life would be a mistake". My art, like my life is richly inspired by the music I love.

A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. ~Leopold Stokowski

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. ~Oscar Wilde

Music is the shorthand of emotion. ~Leo Tolstoy

Music is love in search of a word. ~Sidney Lanier

Music is the poetry of the air. ~Richter

And the night shall be filled with music,
And the cares that infest the day
Shall fold their tents like the Arabs
And as silently steal away.
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, The Day Is Done

Happy Valentine's Day!

A big accomplishment (for me)

2011-02-06T20:29:00.001-08:00

(a sneak peek)

For the past few years I've heard about this Love Show that Launch Pad puts on. Last year I actually went and was blown away by all the incredible interpretations of love by both established and emerging local artists. My friend Kelly Akin was in the show which was my main motivation for going to see it. It became a fantasy of mine to be in it too! I set a goal this year to do just that and yesterday I dropped off my painting at Gallery Homeland!

It's hard to describe the range of emotions one goes through when setting out create a piece of art for a specific purpose/event. For me, it starts with the idea which is very exciting at first! But then comes the task of making it happen and figuring out how on earth I will possibly be able to bring it to life. The work of actually making it always takes much longer than I ever anticipate and I end up pulling ridiculously late nighters and painting until the wee hours of the morning to make the deadline -which really hurts when I have to get up early to take the boy to school or a birthday party the next morning! I haven't done much painting like this since I was in school, in fact this is the first time I have attempted to draw the human form in 13 years -and it did NOT come back to me easily! It felt good to be passionately consumed in my art again, even though I was deliriously exhausted, even though I might have neglected my housekeeping and family a little (OK, a lot!).

I have come to realize that you cannot live a balanced life when art is involved. It's a crock, or at least it's not the kind of art I want to make. Things get thrown wildly out of balance in order to focus on what is important at the moment. What is key is having a support system that respects understands this. Of course, they are always important, but I am more than just a wife and a mother. . . I am also an artist. I know it sucks for them and it's hard to put up with, but I'll clean up when I'm done.

I made my painting and though I felt like I could have kept working on it, I dropped it off within an hour of the submission deadline. I labored over this baby like it was my 2nd child and now I am sending it off to camp: LOVE Camp! My stomach was full of butterflies as I loaded it up into the car (it's BIG). On my way to the gallery I saw a friend on her bike and I actually pulled over and flagged her down to show off the precious cargo I had in my trunk! I'm such a giddy geek! When I got to the gallery I saw C. Haberman, one of the curators of the show. Though we are not close friends, I called out to him and proclaimed "Look! I made something!!" I'm not sure why, but my knees were shaking. This first big show feels more like a prom than anything. I'm so thrilled to have followed through with a goal of mine and to be included in the company of so many artists I adore! I feel like I am 'coming out' and I want everyone to see that: Look, I can do it too!

To see over 300 works of art and to see my painting in full, come to the Love Show next Saturday, 2/12/11 from 7pm to 12am and bring a can of food for the Oregon Food Bank!

'Love Letters' by Chris Haberman & Teresa Garber

Luv is in the air!

2011-01-30T23:03:00.001-08:00

'Ornaments of the eternal flame'

Just in time for Valentine's day! It's what seemed to make sense when I secured the February slot at First Cup Coffee House to show my art. After all, Luv is in the air! As I was hanging today, my friend remarked that she thought my stuff looked very "Rock & Roll" and I can't honestly think of a higher compliment! I must be on the right track, it feels like the natural progression from my Calaveras to now take on Sacred Hearts; another form of Mexican Folk Art for me to tweak and twist into my own funky style. I still love the rustic nature of ruddy old plywood and now I have discovered a new thrill: working with METAL! Tin cans, pie tins, lunch boxes, cookie canisters, you name it, I'm cutting it up! I've got the wounds to prove it, (bleeding for art somehow doesn't hurt as much). I'm having a lot of fun working with new tools and I've got a lot of new ideas on the burner. There's something about the combination of wood and paint and metal that really clicks for me. I can't really explain the attraction or why I feel compelled to craft 3-dimensional assemblages when I have so many 'drawings' in my head. It's funny for an 'Illustration major' to be so resistant to drawing! All I can say is that this is where I am now, and what is coming out. I'm just grateful (and a bit relieved) that I managed to get something out. . . and done. . . and up on a wall -in public!
Check it out if you're in the neighborhood:

First Cup
4103 SE Woodstock Blvd. PDX
or
you can view them here: www.flickr.com

"Art must be an expression of love or it is nothing." -Marc Chagall

Chain of Events

2011-01-07T22:26:00.000-08:00

I went to art school because I wanted to be on the cover of Rolling Stone. Well, not really me, but my art. I dreamed of doing album covers and rock posters. I wanted to illustrate the music that drives me. . . that was the dream. Then Life happened, I got married then took a 1000 mile pilgrimage from SE France to NW Spain, then came back, bought a house and got a job to pay the mortgage. Then Motherhood happened and I worked part time at night, raising my boy by day until I got laid off 2 years ago. Now Art is happening. . . again.

A couple of years ago, el Hueso gave me the Art of Modern Rock for my birthday. I could feel the fire burning in my belly again. I drooled over the pages, marking my favorites, taking note of the artists that inspire me.

A month ago, a couple of friends invited me to go to the Goodfoot to see the Art of Musical Maintenance show. The entire place was plastered with righteous rock radness! Tempted by the dizzying display of posters, I didn't buy anything, wanting to wait for one from a show I'd been to, something that would mean more to me.

On New Years day, I went to see X at the Roseland. The man and I don't go out much anymore, but it was still technically my Birthday week so I talked him into it. I knew it would be too good a show to miss! I had never seen them play before, but the show took me back to a time and place that I thought I might have lost forever.

There was a poster for sale at the show. I could barely make it out in the dim light. It looked like it might be a Gary Houston! I didn't buy it then but hunted for it later the next day. I found it on the Voodoo Catbox website and called the studio. Gary answered the phone and gave me directions to come on over!! I was so excited that I called the only person who I thought might be as thrilled as me to see the studio and meet Gary. Turns out my buddy has a collection of GH posters and is a huge fan!

Today, we took a field trip to the Voodoo Catbox studio under the St. John's Bridge. Hell Yessss!

Today was an AWESOME day!

Gary Houston wrapping up my X poster

The journey continues. . .

2011-01-03T13:31:00.000-08:00

Back to school for The Boy, back to work for The Man and back on track for Mamalea. The business of Life and each of our routines resumes. This year, I am not starting over, just picking up where I left off. Sure I'm making plans and setting goals, but mostly I am focusing on what I have already started and trying to stay committed to the pursuit of art making.

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on,
with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
~Hal Borland

. . . and so the journey continues. This new year is as much a fresh start as each and every day is, when I awake to find that I am still Alive and in Love and on my Way.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.

From Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost

Happy New Year.

It's like a Tower

2010-11-14T01:27:00.000-08:00

My little boy walked into the kitchen while we were making dinner tonight and said:

"The easiest way to become poor is
lose your job,
then try to be an artist.

It's like a Tower
that's falling. . .

with only a little bit
to hold it up."

The observations of an 8 yr old can be quite profound.

Invision

2010-11-13T23:37:00.000-08:00

'Invision' by Jesse Reno

Went Downtown today. Don't get down there much anymore. It's a big deal for us to muster up the energy to cross the river, especially when it's so dark, dreary and drizzly out! But we were headed to a Birthday party and I wanted to pop in to the Grand Opening of Crafty Wonderland's Pop-Up Shop! It sure was gray and soggy out, Portland's typical Falling-into-Winter fashion. But downtown was bustling! The streets were full of people walking and shopping. They can't all be loaded, I thought, they can't all be tourists. Who are all these pretty people out in the rain with money to burn?

After perusing the Small Wonders Art Show and partaking in a crafty cupcake, I wandered into Art Media for the first time since Art School. What a blast from the past! Same guy was still working there! He looked at me with a glance that seemed slightly beyond retail protocol. Did he remember me? I used to spend what felt like hours browsing paints, pretty papers and portfolios back in the day. I went to school 2 Park blocks up. My studio was just around the corner. These were my old stomping grounds. It's been 12 years! My mini skirt and suede platform boots retired to the Goodwill many moons ago. I'm a gray-haired, married mama now, in cheap jeans and comfortable shoes. . . on my way to play glow-in-the-dark mini-golf with a few close kid friends. Who could possibly recognize me now!

Big N and n8 were waiting for me by the door. I bought 2 magazines -and without even any argument from Big N! A luxurious splurge indeed, but I think he realized how much it meant to me. I bought the latest issue of Juxtapoz -which has pretty much shaped and defined most of what I appreciate about art for the last 15 years, and a rag called Somerset Studio. No offense, but normally I never would have even reached for the latter -even though I know a lot of my friends read it and really love it! Some of the more textural collage stuff is nice, but most of it is a little too frilly for me, and I don't really go for mass market shabby chic. I realize that mine is an unpopular opinion, especially now when art journaling and soul collage is so HOT! Though some of it is really beautiful, I just don't want to make that kind of art. Therefore I will probably never amount to much -since that is the art people seem to want. Any way, I bought the mag because I had heard that this month's issue had an interview with Jesse Reno! Who would have expected it?! Such a juxtaposition of style (ha ha). In fact, there is a grumbly letter to the editor about the magazine's recent "new direction".

I got to meet Jesse Reno and see him work last month during Open Studios. It was a heart-pumping, jaw-dropping experience that I got to share with a friend. We both walked out of his studio with goosebumps and all we could say was "Woooah" -in that speechless Keanu Reeves sort of way. Jesse represents the grace of living in the Groove. We could feel it the minute we walked from the outside world into his. This is it, I thought. THIS is what I want to be! I want to be one with art: breathe it, dream it, make it, BE it! I want art to support my life and my life to support my art. Watching him paint, listening to him describe his process and tell his painting's stories was an exciting glimpse into a world I so desperately want to be in. And for that moment I was in it (vicariously) . . . until me and my fellow mom-friend walked out the door and back into our world.

Are you living the Life you were meant to live?

The Importance of Family

2010-11-10T22:30:00.000-08:00

Zoe Harris who studied Day of the Dead in Mexico Photo Credit Robin Collins

This my Aunt Zoe celebrating Dia de los Muertos in San Rafael, CA. She has always been a HUGE inspiration to me. I have fond memories of her introducing me to the magical world of this Mexican Holiday back when I was a wide-eyed little girl, soaking in all the wonderment of the festivities in the Mission District of San Francisco. I cling to a dream of traveling to Mexico with her one day, a sort of pilgrimage to the source of the Folk Art that kindles my creative spark.

You can read a great article on this year's celebration here

The Last Ripe Tomato

2010-11-08T17:39:00.000-08:00

The last ripe tomato
is falling from grace.
Unrequited and forlorn,
withdrawing from the race.

The season of growth is over.
The season of rot is closing in.

Silent,

suspended,

transition.

How affected by Nature is your internal world?

Muertos Season

2010-09-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

Muertos Season is upon us and October is full of Day of the Dead shows happening all over town. For the past few weeks I have been buried in sequins and glitter, painting skeleton smiles with bottle cap eyes to prepare for my show -opening Last Thursday, 9-30 at Fantasma on Alberta. I have been having a lot of fun playing with new techniques and designs and am excited to bring them out of the Bone Cave into the light of the world at large! If you have never attended Last Thursday, THIS is your chance to get off the couch and step out into the street on a lovely, lively evening of ART, music, dance and spectacle. I will be at Fantasma from 6 -8pm -presenting my new assortment of Calaveras and sharing the spotlight with the Elegant Linda Rand. Hope to see you there!

If you can't make the Last Thursday festivities, I will be at Redux on Burnside for a First Friday opening of the 2nd Annual Halloween Show! Such a thrill to be included in this group show once again! This year's theme is:

skulls & cross bones.

Loving this BUSY time of year!

Viva la Vida!

2010-09-18T21:19:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about TIME lately. How little I seem to have in a day (or left in my life) and how fast it's flying by. This is picture of me when I lived and worked in Yosemite, around 20 years ago. That sounds so surreal to say! The concept of that much time eludes me, I can't seem to grasp the enormity or the brevity of it. So much has happened since then, yet could be considered merely a blip when I look back on it in my 90s. I can only hope to live that long, but life has a way of randomly being cut short when you least expect it. There is no way to know how much time I have left, all I know is how vital every second of it feels to me right now. I have become obsessed with how I spend my time, who I spend it with and what I spend it on.

A guy I know recently celebrated his birthday and in his invite to friends to help him celebrate, he wrote that what he cherished most in life was his time, whether it was spent being a hermit or hanging with friends or making art and/or love, if he had ever kicked it with you remember that he gave you the most valuable part of himself, cuz he couldn't get that time back to use somewhere else. This made his offer of spending time with him seem incredibly special and struck me how time in itself can be a meaningful gift.

A lot of my friends are now attending their 20 and 30 year high school reunions. An obscure mark of time to me, but an inevitable rite of passage into middle age it seems. I was not invited to a reunion, since I dropped out of high school and took a completely different path. Instead of going on to college and developing a career, I chose to go into the mountains and develop the art of experience. Living in Yosemite was like waking up to the most beautiful painting everyday, and every time you blinked it would become more beautiful in new and different ways. That painting pulled me in and I became a part of it and in turn, it will always be a part of me. It was the richest gift I could give myself and time well spent (9 years!).

Every minute of everyday, I am making decisions based on my priorities. Tricky part is that those priorities have a way of shifting around on me! Earlier this year, I put art on hold to try something completely different. It was an incredibly rewarding lesson for me to attempt to organize an event of that magnitude -and pull it off. Someday I will get around to blogging about it! The most valuable thing I gained from it all was the relationships I formed and strengthened with other parent volunteers and artists through the experience. I lost my art for a while, but I gained a lot of love.

When it comes right down to it, Love really is what matters most to me. Time well spent is a form of love: loving your life.

Spring Fundraising Extravaganza!

2010-04-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

Full story and BoneWerx update coming soon!

TRUST

2009-12-28T23:33:00.000-08:00

Dec. 3rd was the one year anniversary of the day I was laid off, thrown out of the car and onto the road less traveled. The day came and went quietly. I mentioned it to a few folks in passing and they weren't sure whether to congratulate or console me. I wasn't sure either. It's hard to tell how I feel. Life has changed a lot. I was in a melancholy mood as I went about my business that day: picking up the 'Share the Road' skull from Redux at the close of the Muertos show, then over to Fantasma to hang 3 new Calaveras and collect payment for the one that had just sold, then home to list a few more on Etsy.

THIS is my new life, my new JOB. Business is slow, but that's true almost everywhere. I miss a regular paycheck, but at least some money is trickling in. How long do I give myself to make this thing work? How long will el Hueso induldge me? How long does it take to build an Artist? Time's not up yet.

I have spent these last few weeks reflecting on the course of the past year and where it has lead me. It has been a humbling exercise to outline the year's small accomplishments, but as I look at it as a whole, I see that they do add up to something. . . the beginning of something.
The following is my First Year in Review. . .

December

12-03-08 Laid off from almost 9 yrs @ Precision Images.
12-17-08 Opened an Etsy Shop
Spent the better part of the month in a shell-shocked state of panic.

January

01-14-09 Started this Blog.
Obama Inaugurated. Change is in the air. Hope is Alive.

February

Short visit with family in Santa Fe.
Trip to Folk Art Museum knocks my socks off!
Work on creating Studio Space in basement begins.

March

Applied for SEA program.
Registered 'BoneWerx' business name.
Met Bridget Benton, my advisor from the Small Business Development Center.
Conducted extensive Market Research/Soul Searching to create Business Plan.

April

Attended Portland screening of 'Handmade Nation'
Applied to be in 2 upcoming Craft Fairs.
Completed and Submitted Business Plan to the OR Employment Department.
Formed 'Inspirational Partnership' with Julie LaRoche. -Vowed to meet regularly to make and discuss art together.
Studio set up complete. -Christened it with a small group of supportive friends and champagne.

May

Created 'Garden Bots' to sell as Garden Art at Craft Fairs.
Alberta Art Hop -My First Big Event! Thousands of people strolling the street. Got great feedback but only sold 3 Calaveras.

June

Backed out of Vancouver Recycled Arts Festival -just not ready yet.
Treasure hunting, scavenging, scrapping continues in passionate scramble for new materials.
Gallery visits and art openings in an attempt to tap in to creative climate.
School lets OUT. . . My art lets up.

July

Unemployment Insurance runs out.
Apply for and am eligible for UI extension, but unable to continue in Self Employment Assistance Program.
Discovered freshly opened Fantasma: an Altar Space -contacted owner about showing/selling my Calaveras there.

August

Spent the better part of Summer as FULL TIME Mama!
Continued to meet with Julie and do art with our kids.
Booked as Featured Artist and altar builder at Fantasma for the month of October!
My First 'Last Thursday' gig on Alberta. -Great fun, but didn't sell anything.
Met Linda Rand -a like minded Muertos Artist.

September

Back to School. . .Back to Work!
Flurry of activity to make up for lost time!
Created new series of Roller Derby inspired paintings.
Participated in 'Skating with Scissors' Bazaar with Kelly Akin. -Didn't sell a thing!
Attended 'Craft fair 101' through the DIY Lounge. -Met Cathy Pitters & Torie Nguyen!

October

Calavera Show at Fantasma + Altar to Ruby in shop window on Alberta!
Sold 9 Calaveras.
Attended 'Etsy Basics' through the DIY Lounge. -Met Christine Claringbold & LeBrie
Started setting up my Etsy Shop and listing my work for sale.
1st commissioned Calavera -for bridal shower gift/Day of the Dead themed wedding.

November

Show comes down at Fantasma, but Jess agrees to show/sell my Calaveras on a regular basis.
Created 'Share the Road' Calavera for group Muertos show at Redux.
Attended Opening for show with Julie & Mike -Our first adult night out all year!
Lewis Holiday Bazaar -sold 8 Calaveras and 2 Garden Bots
1st Sale on Etsy
Minor mention of 'Share the Road' on Bike Portland.org leads to nearly 400 hits on my blog!

December

Joint show with Julie LaRoche at First Cup Coffee House.
Sold 3 paintings!
sold Calavera at Fantasma.
2nd sale on Etsy.
2nd commission.

It may not look like much and it certainly doesn't add up to much monetarily, but it feels like I may be on to something. There are a lot of other people doing it; doing what I want to do and doing it well, so I know it's possible -not just to survive, but to THRIVE at it! Everyday I am encouraged by the astounding talent that surrounds me! Portland certainly feels like the right place to be right now. It's an exciting time of reinvention. The economic downturn has forced people to be more creative and driven us to take more chances about how we make a living. As restaurants are shutting down, food carts are springing up. As shops are closing, Etsy is exploding! We are refocusing our priorities about what we do, what we buy, where we buy it, what we make, how we make it, what we eat and how we live! Though I'm still a little bitter about the way it happened, I'm still thankful that I got the 'Wake Up Call'. Everything means so much more to me now on so many levels. Less wasted time, less wasted energy, less wasted money, (less money!). I am learning a lot; mostly that I have a lot more still to learn! And a lot more still to do!!

Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement. -Alfred Adler

Hopes & Worries

2009-12-02T22:43:00.001-08:00

For the past year, two friends met at First Cup to enjoy great coffee and conversations about art and creativity. When given the opportunity to display our art, it took the better part of 2009 to find a recurring theme we wanted to share and exhibit. As both mothers and caretakers, our conversations often centered around how to remain balanced between nurturing and smothering, hopes and worries. Eventually, we each found a medium and inspiration to express the stories of our daily lives.

Have you ever worried so much about providing a nurturing environment for your child that it feels toxic? Do you feel fragile at times about how to care for the world? Do you feel both hopeful and overwhelmed by the small progress we make individually each day?

This is an art show that begins with worry and ends in wonder. It is simultaneously nurturing and fragile because that is how parenting feels. Whether parenting children, caring for ourselves, our community or the world at large, this art is offered as one-page stories about the tension, faith and hopes in every day life. It is a glimpse into the treasury of emotion we each carry.

What hopes and worries do you carry?

This is the inspiration behind the work we chose to do.
It meant a lot to both of us and we hope it means a little something to you.

View the art from the show here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bonewerx/sets/72157622921577528/

To see more of Julie's work, check out: http://www.larocheart.blogspot.com/

Our art will show through the month of December
at First Cup on Woodstock.

TOXIC

2009-12-02T09:51:00.000-08:00

This painting is an illustration of the problem of loving too much! You may not like it and it wasn't meant to be pretty. It was an important exercise for me to figure out how to do it and practice the process of turning what is inside my head into something others can see and hopefully understand. I am still discovering what kind of art I want to make. There is the art that is made to sell . . . and the art that is meant to tell. This piece has a story . . .

Last Summer I signed Nate up for Nature Camp, a week long day camp in Oaks Bottom Wildlife Refuge. It was to be his first camp experience. He has been attending classes through Parks & Rec. at Community Centers since he was a baby, but those had all included parent involvement -so I got to attend too! Now that he is getting older, the rules are changing and I am not allowed to tag along. I understand the value of him having a life without me, but I'm not ready yet to just drop off and let go. Obviously, school is different, it is a familiar community. We know the teachers, we know the kids. It is hard to trust the UNKNOWN.

I think being the parent of only one child intensifies my dependency upon him. I've got all my eggs in one basket and I know it sounds a bit crass, but I have no back-up. At times I can be terribly preoccupied by all that can/could go wrong! I worry obsessively and am struggling to accept the fact that I cannot control the world that Nate lives in. I cannot prevent the other kids from hurting his feelings. I cannot prevent him from falling out of the tree and smashing his head wide open! I cannot prevent the driver from not seeing him in the bike lane and driving over him!! I cannot prevent the creepy stranger from jumping out of the bushes and nabbing him!!! If only I really could create a safety bubble for him, or a force-field of love and kindness. I do my best to give him the tools that he needs to survive, but I cannot protect him from everything . . . and I just HATE that!

As I was stressing the night before sending Nate to camp, I had a vivid nightmare of a nest built of broken glass. I don't usually have dreams that include such cool imagery, so I knew this was something I had to do something with. I had worked myself up into such a tizzy that I almost threw up after dropping him off that morning. I came straight home and started breaking bottles! My artistic passion fizzled when I couldn't figure out how to attach the glass to the board. I had been looking forward to spending the week in my studio, making art while Nate was at camp; falling into deep holes, getting lost in the woods and getting bitten by snakes. I have to admit that it was almost a relief when the Heat Wave hit and I could claim that it was inhumane to make him run around outside all day in 106 degrees! I didn't make any art that week and Nate only got one day of camp, but I think we both preferred to spend the quality time bonding with a waterfall in the Gorge instead.

Share the Road

2009-11-16T12:27:00.000-08:00

I have titled this Calavera: 'Share the Road'. It is a tribute to all the cyclists who have been killed riding their bikes in the city. I created this piece specifically for the 'Muertos' show at Redux and it can still be seen there until Nov. 30th. It started with picking up bits of broken reflector in the street and feeling that each broken shard had a story to tell. I took the opportunity of being involved in this show to create something that I hoped would convey a message, it was a bit of a departure for me. I tried to keep it pretty -in the 'sugar skull' tradition, but I also let it bleed. For the most part, I enjoy art because it makes me feel good, but sometimes I get even more out of it when it makes me angry. I felt it was important to make something that might stir an emotional reaction and make others angry too. In my own little way, I hope to inspire an awareness: to SEE cyclists on the road, be courteous and drive safe (STOP driving over them!) -it's a matter of life and death!

El Hueso doesn't like this piece. He was instantly put off by the gory aspect. He had been enjoying my quirky little Calaveras until this one crossed the line. It's true that my work has been mostly lighthearted, decorative little musings meant to bring a smile and ease our fear. Let it be known, it is NOT my intention to glorify death or wallow in the dark side. My folks for example don't really get what I am doing, it just doesn't appeal to them at all. I understand that not everyone wants a skull on their wall! I know that death is a loaded subject and the last thing I want to do is offend anyone. But kids on the other hand, are totally drawn to my stuff. They don't have the baggage attached, they just think skulls are cool! Perhaps it's a generational thing. I want to know what you think. Be honest, be forthcoming, I'd love to hear your feedback.

warm & fuzzy

2009-11-08T23:00:00.000-08:00

It's such a warm, fuzzy vibe when you can draw the community in to support handmade art and craft while benefiting the local Elementary school. Shopping becomes so much more meaningful when you know where your dollars are going and you can personally see who benefits. It feels so good to be a part of this community and go to a school that values art and is chock full of creative families. We had our first Bazaar last year and doubled our projected earnings for it. So this year, we doubled the amount of vendors and took over both the cafeteria and the gym! It always feels like a gamble when there's so much riding on it, but I think I can safely say that the 2009 Lewis Holiday Bazaar was a huge success! We are hoping to generate a reputation as the Hip place to start your Holiday shopping, and I think we're off to a good start. The caliber of our vendors is impressive; from our very own first graders to the royalty of Indie Craft! I am grateful to every one of them for being a part of it! Spread the word and come back next year, Lewis loves you!

graves are the footprints of angels

2009-11-02T21:47:00.000-08:00

We spend our lives postponing death; dreading it, fearing it, cheating it. But the fact remains that there is no escape. The more we are able to accept our fatality, the more meaningful we can make our lives, the more passionately we can love and the more present we can be. Embrace life until it is our turn to embark on the unknown journey into what may lie ahead. I am working on this. Working on changing my perspective. Banishing my stress, my worry and my fear and learning how to just peacefully BE.

Today is El Día de los Muertos or All Souls' Day. It is a time to celebrate and remember our loved ones. Honoring their spirits is a way to keep our memories of them alive. Today I am remembering two Rubys. One very young and one very old. Grandpa Ru passed away August 19th, 2009. Born Reuben, some people called him Ruby, but we all called him Ru. As I look at his picture, I can see a twinkle in his eye and I hope he can feel the love in my heart.

I am happy to say that the tradition of celebrating Day of the Dead is ALIVE and WELL in PDX! It seems this year, more than ever, there are gallery shows, sugar skull making, processions and altars all over town. I find it both enlightening and encouraging! This month, I have been fortunate enough to be included in a 'Muertos' show at Redux on Burnside. I am in the company of 22 other incredible artists -which is a big thrill for me! You can see all the work from the show on this gallery blog. -But please be sure to visit Redux some time this month, you are sure to find many treasures there. The show runs from 10/27 - 11/29. Opening Reception is First Friday, THIS FRIDAY, 11/06 from 6 - 10pm.

And on the subject of the moment, I would like to share a few quotes I have gathered. . .

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings happy death. ~Leonardo da Vinci

Death is beautiful when seen to be a law, and not an accident - It is as common as life.
~Henry David Thoreau, 11 March 1842, letter to Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. ~Robert Ingersoll

Someday I'll be a weather-beaten skull resting on a grass pillow,
Serenaded by a stray bird or two.
Kings and commoners end up the same,
No more enduring than last night's dream.
~Ryokan

He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? ~Kahlil Gibran, from "The Prophet"

From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity. ~Edvard Munch

"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."
-G.B. Shaw

Calaveras!

2009-10-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to have my Calaveras on display at Fantasma! The show will be up all month. If you haven't been by yet, please drop in. The shop has lots of magical, mystical items for sale as well as some lovely marionettes handcrafted by Linda Rand. The shop owner Jessica Rega is on the lookout for handcrafted, locally made art, so if you make altars, shrines, tin art etc. you might want to check it out. My Calaveras feel very at home in her shop, but I'm sure they would love to come home with you too!

The Calavera series is inspired by the Mexican Sugar Skulls of Dia de los Muertos; the tradition of honoring loved ones who have passed and welcoming their spirits home for a festive visit to celebrate the best of life. In Spanish, Calavera refers to 'Death's head' and is intended as a whimsical way to mock death's power over us. I started painting the skulls as a way to process my grief over losing my friends. It has become a creative confrontation with my own mortality. It has been empowering and healing as a constructive way to Transform the immensity of such devastation into something intriguing, Lasting and beautiful.

Each skull is created from 3/4" thick reclaimed plywood which I cut out, sand and then paint. No two are ever the same! Personalities begin to emerge as I explore different techniques, materials and found objects. They serve as a striking reminder to celebrate the life we have and know now.

Later this month on Last Thursday, October 29th, there will be a Dia de los Muertos Procession on Alberta at 7pm. It will be a great opportunity to dress up, bring candles, photos and other offerings to honor those that you want to Remember. Come and join me in the festivities!

FANTASMA is at 2314 B NE Alberta Street

Remembering Ruby

2009-10-02T21:35:00.000-07:00

Earlier this Summer while strolling down Alberta, I stumbled upon this new little shop called FANTASMA: an Altar space. I got all tingly as I stepped in and felt like I had found the golden key that would unlock the door that would send me forth on my chosen path. Could there be anywhere more perfect than this magical little shop of Mexican handicrafts, steeped in Day of the Dead Folk Art? We were meant for each other. I introduced myself to the owner and described the Calaveras I have been making. She liked my work and booked me! And here I am, the featured Artist and Altar builder for the entire month of October. Viva la BoneWerx!

This is the first altar that I have ever assembled. As a flower child, I grew up around various forms of altars to different gods, cats, poets, artists, relatives and friends. My parents, grandma and aunt have all been altar builders, it has been a family tradition. . . and now it is my turn. I consulted my aunt Zoe, an artist and educator in the Bay Area. She is the authority on Mexican Folk Art and gave me the traditional guidelines that I needed to begin with. In the end, I branched out with where my heart led me.

The altar I have created is an 'Ofrenda' to Ruby. It has been 2 years since Ruby was taken from this world and it has taken me this long to get to the place where I could do a piece about her. In the aftermath of the horrific event that stole her away, I knew I had to make something, but it felt too painful then. It has been nagging at me ever since yearning to come out in some way, but not knowing how. It feels very important for me to honor Ruby in this way; to remind the world that she was here - touched our lives - and we miss her.

Bright bud
Glowing Firecracker
Racing bug
Spunky Dream Catcher
Wild wildflower. . .
on the wind
blowing through my mind
blowing up my heart
scattering fire seeds
softly glowing
glowing
glowing
red.

I hope you will take the opportunity to visit the altar and celebrate the spirit of Ruby.

FANTASMA is at 2314 B NE Alberta Street

Busted

2009-09-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

Craft Fairs are a lot of work. I really busted a move to prepare for this one, and I must admit I got a little caught up in the euphoria of working again and wondering what kind of reception my paintings might get. I didn't know what to expect, but I had high hopes. You just never know what you're gonna get! I know what the Rose City Rollers got, because I paid them $45.00 for my spot -along with nearly 100 other vendors -most of whom did not make that money back. 2 crafters beside me actually packed up and left early, one of them remarking that she had never walked out of a show before! There just wasn't any traffic. We were in an unmarked obscure location that people didn't know about or couldn't find. My friends were at a birthday party in the Oaks Park Roller Rink and wanted to check out my show afterward and asked about the Craft Bazaar, but no one knew what they were even talking about. There were no fliers posted and they had no idea that a huge event was scheduled to happen just across the parking lot!

This could have been a really fun and high energy happening if only there had been more communication and better promotion. Roller Derby is pretty sub culture, not a lot of people know about it. For this event to have been successful (for the vendors), I think they needed to reach out farther than their own inner circle on facebook -which seemed to be the main venue for their communication about it. I understand that this was their first Craft Bazaar and obviously it is a lot to pull together. I hope they get constructive feedback from other vendors and take it to heart. I'm happy to have contributed to the benefit, but I was under the impression that it might be a more reciprocal arrangement. It's too bad a bigger buzz wasn't generated and more people weren't exposed to what I have to offer.

I did meet a lot of other fantastically creative artists and it was very inspirational to see their work! But you know there's something a little out of whack when there are more vendors than attendees!

Live and Learn I guess!

Skates!

2009-09-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

In the final countdown now. What's done is done and what isn't will never be. I had a bunch more ideas that I never even got to explore, but I can't say that I will continue with the roller derby theme after this show. Too many other things on my ever growing list!

I had a lot of fun with this project and I keep reminding myself that that is what it is all about! I used actual skate laces in these pieces and a friend even donated a pair of roller skates so I could make the track marks, (Thanks Jen K. -Nate is enjoying them!).

It will be interesting to see what people will think of what I have made. I often wonder how far removed I am from the reality of what people really like or think is cool. We'll see!

Staples and Lace

2009-09-18T01:36:00.000-07:00

It's 1:30 am and I'm still awake. I know I shouldn't be, but I've been having too much fun with the staple gun! I've been trying to find innovative ways to use common materials and I hope I am coming up with unique ideas. I just hate it when I think I've got a new angle on something only to find out it's already been done! I'm learning a lot about what works and what doesn't. I'm also making a lot of noise! The work I am doing lately seems to involve more tools than paint. Starting with the scroll saw, followed by the palm sander, then some paint, then a few staples and nails and voila! I've been pulling late nights all week trying to prepare for the Big Bazaar on Saturday. I'm sure the boys aren't too happy about all the racket, but they haven't said anything (yet). 'El Hueso' (Mr. BoneWerx) has been very polite and supportive, but I know he's feeling like an art widower. I wish I could say it will let up when this show is over, but it won't! I will be showing my Calaveras at Fantasma -an Altar Shop on Alberta (& NE 23rd) throughout the entire month of October! It's good to be busy! I'm feeling the burn but I'm loving every minute of it, since this is what I signed up to do! Viva la BoneWerx!

Nailed

2009-09-08T23:15:00.000-07:00

Today my son went back to school. We were both READY! We squeezed every last drop we could out of our summer and know that it is now time to get back to work. I have been inspired by the amazing places I have discovered this summer and am filled with juicy new memories. Milky Jade waters, mossy totems, rotting red cedar, black rocky beaches and the white washed bones of the forest are all stimulants buzzing for a way out of my head and into my art somehow. Unfortunately I am not living in the moment and can't act on them yet! I've got a 3 month backlog of work to do for several upcoming events, the first of which is in a mere 10 days! I've signed up to be a part of the Skating with Scissors Bazaar to benefit the Rose City Rollers. I am excited about this show even though I have no idea what to expect. I can totally relate to the Punk Rock nature of Roller Derby, it's Bad-Ass with a lot of style. It gets my blood pumping and brings me back to those bygone days of my twisted youth. My lack of studio time this summer did not keep me from scheming and sketching out a few ideas based on a 'Pretty in Punk' type of attitude. I am having fun playing with staples and nails and leather and lace. I hope I can maximize the time I suddenly have in front of me to expand on this theme. I have a lot of catching up to do!

Adjustment Period

2009-07-01T22:33:00.000-07:00

I've tried getting up early. I've tried staying up late. But the fact remains that I am a mama to a 6 year old who is HOME FOR THE SUMMER! It's very hard to find a quality chunk of time to call my own. Maybe it's just too soon to think that I can make this work. I know it will get easier as he gets older, but I am getting OLDER too. . . and tired. . . and distracted. Life at this moment is all about play dates, bike rides, swimming lessons and library books. Our days are full but my soul is drained. I am questioning everything. What exactly are my priorities? My son needs me. My husband needs me. The dishes need me. But what do I need? My family is not an accident. It took a lot of hard work to build a relationship with my husband that was solid enough to bring a child into. Now that we are three, the work continues. It is the best kind of work since nothing else seems nearly as important as nurturing the relationships with the ones that we love. I'm proud of the life we have created. I am proud of the amazing person that my little boy is! It feels incredibly selfish to be fighting for time alone when I am so blessed to be home with him. HE is my priority.

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

I created this piece last Summer during an afternoon intro to encaustics class at the 100th Monkey Studio. I had a lot of fun learning a new technique and just playing around with the materials they had available there. It seems appropriate to post this today in honor and appreciation of my loving husband who is a better father to our son than I could have ever hoped for. The illustration is a bit silly, I tore it out of an old children's book. But, it reminds me of the devoted involvement that I see in my husband everyday. 'Pitch and catch' at the park, chess games, bedtime stories, tickle wars and puzzles on the floor. . . and that was just today! We are grateful for the love in our lives and feel very blessed.

Just do it!

2009-06-08T10:08:00.000-07:00

"First Thursday", "First Friday", "Last Thursday" -there are so many opportunities to see some great art in this town! I keep telling myself I'm going to get out more, SEE more . . . DO More! But it's so hard to push myself out the door. I'm lazy, antisocial and frankly a little intimidated. But when I do bite the bullet and head out into the world, I am usually rewarded with a great sense of fulfillment. It's a charge that fires me up and feeds my hungry soul!

On Friday night, Julie and I ventured out to see the art opening of a friend-of-a-friend. It was fun to discover The Bite Studio. Great work there! We really enjoyed etchings of Shawn Demarest and were intrigued by the block prints of Cameron Thomson. We recommend that you check it out. While we were there, we were told about an art 'Happening' near by. So we hightailed it over to The Store for a Month, (on the corner of SE 12th & Division). How FUN! 60 artists working together to create 'products' to sell in the store for a month. I love it! I love the transient nature of it, (the sign is made out of cardboard!). It felt to me like a bunch of legitimate and pretty respectable local artists letting their hair down and goofing off. I appreciate the reminder that art does NOT have to be stuffy or even serious. It feels good when its playful! So for a good time, go to The Store for a Month -you might even get lucky and score a piece of pie!

I am for an art that takes its form from the lines of life itself, that twists and extends and accumulates and spits and drips, and is heavy and coarse and blunt and sweet and stupid as life itself. -Claes Oldenburg
An excerpt from his 1961 manifesto: I am for an art …

Urban Foraging

2009-06-03T23:08:00.001-07:00

This is what I found on the street today. I call it 'Urban Foraging'. Some of the items I found while biking to and from my son's school. That's why I like biking; it's up close and personal with the trash on the street! Everything is so much more accessible. But walking is really the best way to experience the environment. Things come into a sharper focus when you are in direct contact with the landscape. What might have been just a blur in a car or a sparkling spec from a bike is actually a crunched bottle cap with an intriguing graphic. It's easy to miss it, most people do. These things do not have the same appeal to others, but they inspire me. I actually get excited when I find a crushed piece of metal on the side of the road! I don't even know what I'm going to do with it yet but I know that I want to work with it. Cheap thrills! I'm even lucky enough to have a few friends who have started picking up garbage for me, (much to my husband's chagrin!). I think it's fun to motivate people to see things in a new way, to see the beauty in a mangled piece of metal in the gutter. I have a secret fantasy of stocking my studio with all of my collected odds and ends and recycled doodads -to create my own personal 'Scrap' store. It makes sense to collect it myself rather than buy it don't you think? My husband's not a collector. He says "buy it when you need it". I don't work that way. I need it first, then I will figure out what to do with it.

There is a certain intersection on my way to the grocery store where I have been noticing what seems to be the debris from a car crash that must have happened there a few weeks ago. Today, I finally pulled the car over to get a closer look. I couldn't resist any longer, the thought of finding some good pieces was too tantilizing! It felt a little creepy to be exploring the scene of an accident, but I did score a few dinged up 'auto remains'.

Now if only I knew how to weld!

A Learning Experience!

2009-05-17T22:42:00.000-07:00

It has taken me a little over a week to process and recover from my first big event, and when I say "big" I'm not putting it mildly! The Alberta Art Hop consisted of 17 blocks of NE Alberta Street closed to car traffic, lined with 150 artists and crafts people. It was a huge and beautiful day! What a thrill to be out there among so many other truly talented and amazingly cool artists.

After a stressful week of too much to do and not enough sleep, it took everything I had to disguise my Zombie-like condition and get through the long, hot day with composure and style. I spent 8 hours standing in the street, in the blazing sun, (clearly a rookie without a tent!). But it was so worth it for all the people I met and all the things that I learned. Though physically wasted, I felt spiritually jazzed to be out there -in the mix with all the other artists and crafts people . . . am I one of them now? I don't know about that yet, it feels more like just my foot in the door -but that door is opening.

It has taken me a while to process my impressions and even though I wasn't as ready as I wanted to be, I'm glad I put myself out there. It was awesome to see people's reaction to my stuff! My Robots are kid magnets! The kids (and their parents) had a lot of fun examining all the different items used to make each face. People got a big kick out of them. The best comment of the day came from a boy about 9 years old who said "These guys would make Frankenstein jealous!" -that made my day.

I also brought a small collection of my Calaveras -because everyday is a good day to celebrate the dead! These turned a lot of heads as well, and I even managed to sell a few. It was incredibly rewarding and fun to see people's faces light up when they saw something they liked. Everyone expresses their interest differently and it was wonderful to watch.

I am extremely grateful to have had my friend Julie to spend the day with in the space beside me, I couldn't have done it without her! Next month will be a whole new ball game: a two day event in Vancouver, all by myself! Anyone out there care to come along and keep me company?

BlockHead

2009-05-04T09:16:00.001-07:00

OK, this is not a Tiki, it is a garden-bot, because we all need more Robots in the garden. . .don't we? I had a lot of fun making this and it cracks me up every time I look out my window and see it's big shiny head and goofy expression! I am currently exploring lots of different themes and ideas for what I want to make. It feels good to experiment, but I look forward to getting into a groove where I can really focus on one thing at a time and find a way to do it really well. Hopefully I will hit my stride soon!

Ready or not, I have booked myself into two Art Festivals coming up. Since this has always been a dream of mine and it is part of my business plan, I figured I'd better go for it and get my feet wet! The Alberta Art Hop is coming up on May 16th! -That's in less than 2 weeks -Yikes! My art-pal Julie has signed up also and will be selling her Ecoshikis in the booth next to BoneWerx. We are both excited and terrified! It will be a opportunity to get ourselves out there, meet some other artists and learn the ropes. I just hope I have something to show and sell by then! I have a little more time to prepare for the Vancouver Recycled Arts Festival in June. I am super-psyched about both of these venues, but signing up is only the first step (the easy part). Now the hard work must really begin!

I have put a call out to everyone I know to collect their tin can lids for me in hopes that I can get enough to make some nifty things with them. So if you have any laying around, please save them for me! It has proven to be more challenging than you would think to amass recycled materials to make art with! There is a lot of competition out there all scrambling to get the good junk for free. It's not easy anymore, it's big business now as any 'Scrapper' will tell you. Let me know if you have a good dumpster connection or juicy junk pile you can direct me to. I'm not afraid to get dirty! Just last week I took a lovely Spring stroll along the railroad tracks in the inner SE industrial area. It felt very nostalgic and brought back some of the thrill of my youth and those punk rock days. Only difference is that this time I am not cutting school and drinking Olde English, I'm a 42 yr old woman treasure hunting for rusty old pieces of garbage. I did find some nice pieces (see the mouth on the robot) - but I ran like a dork when the train started coming . . .will I ever be cool again?

Unblocked

2009-04-12T22:11:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of networking, I have found a like-minded-fellow-artist-mom at school and we have formed our own 'club'. Realizing that we are both deadline driven, we have decided to meet once a week to check in and help keep one another on task. It's one thing to talk about all the things we want to do and quite another thing to actually carry it out. We hope to assist each other in the 'follow through' by having someone to be accountable to. Though now that I have started this blog, I feel accountable to all who read it! At our first meeting at the aptly named 'First Cup', we secured the December slot to show our artwork in the coffee shop! We happened to ask at just the right moment, (someone had just canceled!). It is normally open to first come first served beginning in June. We felt a bit invincible, as if this is the beginning of a Power-Partnership in which we are capable of accomplishing great things! -Let's hope that's true! I think it's important to keep the momentum going, not to slack off or get too distracted. We have continued to meet once a week and have discussed our direction and goals.

Last week we decided to play with block printing and actually get our hands dirty by making some ART while we talk. It was fun relearning an old technique and trying a new one: with Styrofoam trays! It felt good to dive in and just experiment. Making ART has become such a big deal to me that I feel like when I do it, it has to count. I realize that this is precisely what has kept me blocked for so long! I need to let go of the finished 'product' and just play with the process. Ha ha, it just hit me; we chose 'block' printing to get the juices flowing. . . is it a coincidence?

There are so many things I would love to explore and paint, how do I pick one and begin? Lately, I just can't stop thinking about Tiki's! Perhaps I should be thinking about something more meaningful and relevant. . .there IS a WAR going on after all! But here in my own little bubble, I am intrigued by the image of a Tiki as a powerful Talisman. A guardian against the evil spirits that may try to defeat me! Plus I think they're really cool!

Aia nô i ka nânâ `ana. [ai' (y)ah NOH' ee kah NAH'NAH' ah' nah] We'll see (what the future brings).

Revved Up and Rarin' to go!

2009-04-05T23:41:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, I've been busy. Busy setting up my studio, writing my business plan and generally getting my act together. A lot of people have been asking me "what exactly ARE you doing anyway???" I know it all seems very mysterious, but here's the low down. . .
After I was laid off, I was 'invited' by the Employment Department to attend a 3 hour orientation where I was quizzed, assessed and handed a stack of forms to read and fill out. One of those forms had a little blurb about a little known program called SEA; Self Employment Assistance. I liked the sound of that and came right home and called the Salem office about it. Turns out that if you have a business idea that the state deems viable, then you can apply for the SEA program. If approved you can continue to collect Unemployment Insurance while you are developing your own business, (and you are exempt from having to submit the required 3-5 applications a week to find gainful employment). I applied and was approved! WOW! So, what's my business? I'll get to that.

I was assigned an advisor and given 30 days to come up with a business plan. At first all I knew was that I have an overwhelming creative urge to make stuff. In art school, I chose to major in Illustration because it seemed like the practical way to make a living with my art. Unfortunately, I never pursued it. I got distracted; got married, bought a house and had a baby. I had to find an immediate way to make a living, (to pay the bills) and I did -for 9 years! And then the comfort of steady employment came to an abrupt end and I find myself going back to the drawing board (pun intended!). The challenge is: how do I channel my desire to "make stuff" into the framework of a 'viable business'? I'm still getting to it.

There have been lots of little things happening lately that seem to be happening for a big, meaningful reason. One of the first was meeting; Bridget Benton.
I had actually met her before (on the phone) last summer, when I was seeking creative counseling. She had only been working for the Small Business Development Commission for about a month before being assigned to my case. What a blessing and incredible stroke of luck to have such a kindred spirit help me find my direction! I spent four weeks researching my target market, doing competitive analysis and financial projection worksheets -ouch! It all finally came together, and I submitted my plan last Thursday. I won't bore you with the whole thing, but here's the heart of it:

BUSINESS DESCRIPTION
BoneWerx is the Mixed Media Art and Illustration of Alea Bone. A funky fusion of painted, collaged and recycled elements seamlessly combined to create engaging ‘Werx’ of art that honor alternative cultures, folk art traditions and celebrate our humanity.

Alea Bone is the sole proprietor of BoneWerx and is responsible for creating all of the artwork and commissioned illustration services. Alea’s ‘BoneWerx’ will be shown and sold in multiple formats and venues:

Original BoneWerx will be sold in galleries, boutiques, craft events and on Etsy.com

Reproductions sold as note cards, stretched canvas reproductions and high quality archival prints.

Freelance commissioned illustrations sold primarily to book and magazine publishers.

MISSION
The mission of BoneWerx is to create a sustainable career for myself, while inspiring the minds and hearts of others through my unique forms of expression, to promote and stimulate interest in the arts and advance visual communication as a vital cultural force.

OBJECTIVES
To establish itself as a viable and prosperous business, four goals BoneWerx will strive for within the first year are:
Sell at a local craft fair.
Develop an Online presence and store.
Show/sell work in a gallery or local boutique
Publication in an Illustration Annual.

There's a lot more to it, but I think that pretty much sums it up. Now you (and I) have a general idea of what I want to do -and how I'm going to do it. For a great example of the model I'd like to follow, check out: Jenny Sue Kostecki-Shaw. She has some really cool art and illustrations, a few books, a blog and a great line of products for sale. The clock is ticking faster than ever now, I've got about 2.5 months left to get the ball rolling before I exhaust my unemployment benefits. It will be interesting to see what happens!

Now that I've got the Road Map, I'm Ready for the Trip!

Hoodoo you think you are?

2009-02-17T00:09:00.000-08:00

I spent the last weekend in January in Santa Fe, a cultural hotbed of inspiration! The whole scene is so different there. The landscape is unlike anything in the Northwest, I feel like I have been to another planet and back. I got to explore a place called Tent Rocks, where towering Hoodoos rose above us like the steeples of an ancient fairyland. It was magical! I also got to visit the Museum of International Folk Art -which made my head spin! It's too soon to tell what my 'style' is yet, but I do know that the realm of Folk Art feels to me like a circus I want to join and perform in! I want to travel more. . . learn more. . . see more. . . do more!

The art is coming. . . it's brewing. My head is bubbling over with images I want to create! The studio is coming together. I painted the walls and bought the shelves. Soon I will have a fully functional space of my own. I'm ready.

To see pix of my visit to Santa Fe:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/3bones/sets/72157613881138650/

To see pix of my own brand of Folk Art: http://www.flickr.com/photos/35484873@N02/sets/72157614002959010/

The Bone Cave

2009-01-29T00:32:00.001-08:00

This is my workspace, fly strips and all! -That's a worm bin over there by the way. It may look a little scary at the moment and I can assure you, it feels scary too! This is reality folks, this is what were dealing with. It's not pretty, but I want to show it so when we look back we will know how far we've come. This is the 'Before' picture.

The Transformation has already begun. I have undertaken a massive purge which is clearing out the clutter and clarifying my spirit. It has been my intention to set up a studio in the basement ever since we bought the house (7 years ago!). I mean it this time, I have to. . .this is my new job. This is my new life.

One of the most satisfying periods of my life was in my senior year of Art School. I quit my job to focus 100% of my time and energy on my thesis. I had a studio downtown a block away from the school. I remember what a thrill it was heading to "work" each day. I had never experienced such a sense of purpose before. It was incredibly empowering! I was living the dream. I was an Artist. And then I graduated. The school moved into the Pearl District. The building that housed my studio went up for lease, I had to move out. I am opening boxes now that have not been touched since then.

I can taste that purpose again.

Today's Sharp Sparkle

2009-01-20T12:45:00.000-08:00

Today was truly an awe-inspiring day!

Time seemed to stand still in my house as I was glued to the TV. I couldn't turn away, I couldn't stop crying, nodding my head, rocking back and forth, spontaneously clapping!

Part of me wished I had stayed at school to watch the Inauguration on the big screen with Nate. Or gone to my friends party and shared in the collective euphoria of Hope. But the other part of me needed to absorb the immensity of the moment in a quiet, personal way. The Dream has come true, change has come. Things will start to be different now. . .The People Have The Power! "Yes We Can!"

I had planned to watch the Inauguration in the morning and then proceed with my checklist for the day; the dishes, the laundry, the groceries, the Resume! And then it sucked me in. It was polarizing. I watched every minute detail, from Bush's departure, to the luncheon to the preparations for the parade. It wasn't a matter of avoiding my chores, I wanted to get outside of myself - to be a part of the bigger picture! This is History, this is HUGE!

At 2-o-clock it hit me that I should draw something. My friends have been urging me to pick up a pencil and just draw! The first and only image that came was a dove. Flight, Freedom, Peace. It's corny I know, probably even a little generic -but it's all I had. I have to pick up Nate at 3, so I had an hour. I ended up spending most of that hour looking for my pastels in the basement! Out of desperation that I would miss my window, I found a piece of chalk and did a quick sketch. I drew something. I'm starting.

It's midnight now. My head is still spinning and my chest is pounding. I was pacing earlier. I am filled with unrest. I am still pondering the Inaugural Poem by Elizabeth Alexander today. You can read the whole thing here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/20/us/politics/20text-poem.html?ref=books

But here are the last 2 lines:

"In today's sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun.

On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp -- praise song for walking forward in that light."

The First Step

2009-01-14T22:37:00.000-08:00

This is my first step, a baby step, hopefully it will lead me somewhere. But where to and how do I get there? So many roads to take, so many uncertainties.

I was laid off on December 3rd. I had worked there almost nine years and have survived many rounds of lay-offs before, but never thought it would come down to me. I was blindsided. I had been miserable for years and dreamed of quitting but wasn't ready yet. I wasn't prepared. WHAM! BAM! Here I am! Welcome to the club I guess. I know there are a lot of us out there in the same boat. What do I do now? How is this going to effect our life as we know it? How do I fill up the big hole in our finances left by the loss of my salary? The weekly UI checks help a little, but how long can I receive unemployment? I've heard that 6 months is the cut off. I think I've used up about 5 weeks worth already and the clock is ticking!

I've spent the last 6 years complaining that I didn't have enough time or energy left over to create any art. Even just working 25-30 hrs a week, I couldn't keep up with my 6 year old, manage the household, maintain the garden. . .AND be an artist! Well now, I am unemployed, Nate is in Kindergarten 6 hrs a day. . . and I HAVE the time!

I am fortunate to have an incredible network of friends and family who have all been very supportive. They tell me this is a blessing in disguise, an opportunity, a gift, my Do Over. What will I do with it? Can I live up to my hopes and dreams? I intend this blog to document my process, it's my first step.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned , so as to have the life that is waiting for us."-E.M. Forster